


A shared solitude

by Vault_Emblem



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Bliss, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, commission, mentions of Micaiah - Freeform, mentions of Pelleas, mentions of Sanaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 08:42:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21158807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vault_Emblem/pseuds/Vault_Emblem
Summary: In a universe in which they both survive the war, Lehran and Zelgius go live together.





	A shared solitude

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so ashamed I haven't written anything with them before.
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr [@bi-naesala](https://bi-naesala.tumblr.com) and on twitter [@vault_emblem](https://twitter.com/vault_emblem)

\- Here you go -.

\- Thank you -.

Lehran’s smile is grateful when Zelgius hands him a warm cup of tea, and Zelgius can’t help but to smile as well.

As Lehran’s attention moves outside again, however, he wonders what he should do: as of now, this has become routine. Would it be right for him to disrupt things with his presence?

After the end of the war they settled down here, in a small tenure in the deepest – and hardest to reach – part of Serenes Forest.

In all honesty, it’s still weird to think that they have both been spared, and Zelgius still doesn’t know how to feel about it; he remembers Ike’s gaze – so similar to General Gawain’s – and then it all faded to black, but eventually, he woke up.

\- It doesn’t feel right, killing you -, he told him when he came to, - Besides, I think letting you live will be a bigger punishment than executing you -.

Even Lehran – by now only Sanaki insists on calling him “Sephiran”, but he supposes old habits die hard – has been, if not entirely “pardoned”, at least spared.

They have decided to live in the forest, Lehran’s home, as far away from everything and everyone as possible.

The sins they have committed weight heavily on their shoulders, and besides, they don’t feel like this world is for them anymore, so they’re better off as simple viewers.

What a pitiful pair the two of them make.

They’ve settled in pretty quickly, wanting nothing more than to spend their days in the company of each other.

Having almost died has been an epiphany for both of them, and if they can’t die together, they can at least live the rest of their days here.

It’s a small house but it doesn’t matter. It’s not luxury what they’re after, but quiet and simplicity.

It’s scary how quickly they get used to this, but maybe it’s because, deep down their hearts, they’ve always craved something similar.

Sometimes it feels unnatural, like they’re not supposed to live like this, but these are thoughts that are easily shut down when their gazes meet, when their hands touch, when they smile. Even small talk is an efficient remedy for all the screams of “you don’t deserve this” that echo in their minds.

That day they have received a visitor.

It isn’t something that happens too often, but it’s less stressful that one would think.

Even as he tried to mask it, Lehran was radiant that day as Empress Sanaki herself stepped inside, and even Zelgius felt a tingle of affection for her; she’s growing up so fast, but they still remember her as the child she’s been – much to her grief.

Sometimes, the Maiden of Dawn comes too, bringing her husband with her. In the end, Pelleas and Micaiah got married, and Zelgius can only hope they are happy; he doesn’t really think of him as someone worthy of her, but he won’t let his judgment interfere – and sometimes he has to remind himself that the kid is trying, he’s trying really hard. And besides, what rights does he have to judge someone else after all he’s done?

He still feels a great deal of affection towards Micaiah, and he knows that it’s the same for Lehran, even if they haven’t interacted much in the past.

Sometimes he wonders what that kind of blood bond feels like, but he buries these thoughts down as soon as they appear.

He doesn’t want to think about it.

Uhm, he got lost in his thoughts again. It happens more often than he’d like to admit.

It’s been a while already – though Zelgius couldn’t really tell exactly how much, as both of them have quite lost cognition of time – since they moved the small table they use to eat on near the window, so that they can have a view of the forest when they gather together.

It has quickly become a habit of Lehran to sit there and stare outside, without saying anything, like he’s doing now.

Empress Sanaki has left for a while, but his gaze is still outside, as if it’s following her until she reaches Begnion. He only looked away to take the tea Zelgius has offered him, and now he’s gone back to staring.

Like every time this happens, Zelgius can’t help but to wonder where his mind is wandering to.

He should get him to talk about it, he realizes, but he never does. He’s aware that Lehran has always kept something from him and he accepted this a long time ago; it is but a small price to pay for his love… _love_.

Is Zelgius even worthy of something as love? Is there even any space in Lehran’s heart for him? Maybe.

They both are two lonely souls after all.

\- Zelgius -.

Huh. Usually Lehran doesn’t acknowledge him during these moments, but it is also true that Zelgius must’ve been standing there for a while, lost in his own thoughts.

\- Yes? -.

\- Take a seat -.

Lehran always tells him that he’s not a soldier anymore and that he isn’t his commander, but Zelgius is still used to following orders – even if these aren’t exactly that, rather, they’re invitations, invitations that he could easily refuse if he so chooses.

As to prove this, he doesn’t say anything as he sits on the chair across where Lehran’s resting.

There was a time when such a quiet atmosphere would’ve made him uneasy, but now he welcomes it. By the happy sigh that escapes the other’s lips, he suspects that Lehran feels the same, or at least he hopes he does - but he won’t let his own doubts cloud this moment of tranquillity between them.

He notices Lehran’s hand on the table, and he doesn’t think twice about it as he stretches his own, resting it over his.

He could easily pretend that the way Lehran immediately squeezes it doesn’t send a warm sensation that spreads all over his heart, but why would he lie?

\- She’s all grown up -.

Zelgius smiles at those words.

\- She is, and she’s getting more and more sarcastic by the years -, he says, not being able to stop a small jab at the other, - I wonder where she takes after… -.

That manages to make Lehran look at him, a mock offended expression on his face.

\- Zelgius! I have no idea what you are talking about -, he defends himself. Sure he doesn’t.

\- Shouldn’t we retire for the night? -, Zelgius asks, noticing how low the sun has gotten outside. This time, Empress Sanaki has stayed for longer; after all, she and Lehran had a lot of catching up to do.

\- Let’s stay here, just a moment longer -, comes the reply, and Zelgius doesn’t have it in him to say no.

\- All right, let us stay -.

\- How long will it take until they come again? -.

Zelgius knows well who Lehran is referring to. With their busy lives, it always takes months for Sanaki or even Micaiah to come visit, though they always try to do it as often as they can.

Last time, Micaiah even brought her children with her – twins, and they have inherited her silver locks and gentle smile. Lehran was positively overcome with joy at that view, and Zelgius can’t deny that even he had gotten emotional.

\- You just want to dote on the kids -, he says then. He usually isn’t one for teasing, and he doesn’t know what has gotten into him that day, but the look Lehran gives him makes it all worth it.

\- Maybe so -, is all he replies with, but the best part of it all is how he chuckles then, and Zelgius has never felt this light in all his entire life.

Despite the constant reminder of their past that their isolation brings them, it’s easy to forget about it during moments like this, where there are no doubts, no dark thoughts. Only simple company and love.

Zelgius could not ask for more.

He feels Lehran getting up before his brain registers the words he just sent his way.

\- Let us go -.

Zelgius nods, rising from his seat. He stretches his arm around Lehran’s waist as they make their way towards the bedroom.

Sometimes he still can’t believe that such casual contact is allowed, not after all the time he’s had to spend on his own. Actually, not only it is allowed, but it is also welcomed, which is even more strange.

Even their bedroom is simple, as the rest of the house, but neither of them are bothered by it, as long as there is enough space for the both of them – which there is.

This is already more than what they should’ve gotten anyway.

Before Lehran can have the time to do anything, Zelgius takes him in his arms and gently lays him upon the bed, silencing whatever words were about to leave his mouth with a kiss as he immediately settles over him, between his legs.

For now it’s slow, sweet even. It makes him feel like a child and not the grown man he is, but he doesn’t mind, not when he can feel how soft Lehran’s lips are against his.

When they part, he doesn’t tear his gaze away from him. His movements are gentle as he brushes a hand against Lehran’s hair.

He’s beautiful, ethereal either.

What did he do to deserve him?

\- Zelgius… -, Lehran calls him, right before he could kiss him again, so he stops, waiting for him to continue, - I never… -.

A pause.

Zelgius wonders whether he should say something or not, but he decides to wait; he can sense his heavy tone and he knows that these kinds of talks are hard.

He can wait.

He smiles when he feels Lehran’s hand brush against his cheek and he leans in the touch. He’s ready to speak again, he can see it.

\- I never thought someone could ever fill the void I carried with me for such a long time, but… I’m glad it is you -.

Only now Zelgius realizes he’s been holding his breath.

\- Lehran… -.

He kisses him.

\- I still remember, you know? -.

\- Remember what, Zelgius? -.

\- What you told me when we first met -, he replies. His voice is much softer than usual, but he still keeps going.

\- You told me that I wouldn’t be alone anymore -.

\- Oh, that -.

\- Well, I’m glad it got to be the other way around too -, he takes Lehran’s hand between his, - I’m glad that you aren’t alone either -.

This seems to do it for Lehran: this time he moves quicker, as he raises himself on his elbows, drawing Zelgius closer for a kiss, a kiss that he returns immediately, hands settling on the other’s hips.

Even though there are still traces of the softness from before, their movements are faster this time, more passionate. It’s obvious where things are going to lead to.

Zelgius exhales at their closeness, craving more – always craving more when it comes to Lehran.

Now that he’s got a taste of what it means sharing a life with somebody else, he doesn’t want to abandon this for nothing in the world or, at least, as long as Lehran wants to.

He knows however, and he can see it in the way he clings to him, in the way he whispers his name and worships his body, that there will never be a day in which Lehran doesn’t want this.

Eventually this will be over, if anything because they age differently.

But today, today Zelgius doesn’t think about it, nor does Lehran; their hearts are full of only one thing, and it’s the love they share for each other.

Nothing else matters.


End file.
